A Letter to my Son

                                                                                                         March 2, 2012

Brooks,

I just dropped you off at daycare for the first time and I had to practically run out so that no one caught me crying.  I knew that you were safe and so I thought long and hard about what those tears meant.  Here is my conclusion:

Some of those tears were shed for the ending of our time at home together. Shortly I will be returning to work and not have 7 days a week to enjoy your morning smiles.  You have grown up so fast and I am in awe that our precious 12 weeks is over. 

Some of those tears were shed because you seemed so independent.  I gave you a kiss and you just looked back at me as if to say, “I got this!”  You were making your first friend, sitting next to each other smiling.

And some of those tears were shed because I truly realized your impact on my life. I walked into our empty house without the diaper bag and car seat for the first time in 3 months- my hands were empty.  For the last 3 months my time has been devoted to you.  I have kept the weight on my shoulders of knowing that I am the one to care for you and make sure you are safe 24 hours a day.  Normally, a weight on your shoulders is a negative thing.  But when you weren’t at home for me to take care of, I realized I can’t live without that weight on my shoulders.  Without it I am incomplete. 

God took part of me and your daddy and made this perfect person for us to care for.  It is an absolute privilege to raise you.  I only pray that I can follow God’s will and help you become a faithful, loving leader. 

Words cannot express my Love,

Mommy